Why the Assurance?

Now that I've been on a holiday for the past 2 and half months, I've got nothing to write about. I'm starting to lose my brain juices, and it's all getting rusty in my brain.

Oh yes, 3 days to getting the SPM results. Now I have something to write about.

Well, actually, I'm not really starting to freak out yet. And I guess there's not much point freaking out if I'm really going for Form6. But somehow, people around me keep reminding me about the day. How to not think about it?!

And hence, the quote by me:

"To be acknowledged is to gain a minute's worth of pride and to be stressed for the rest of the time. Well, at least until you achieve something even greater, and the cycle starts all over again."

For the past week, people around me had been telling me that I'll surely get straight A's. Pppfffffttttt!! Tell you what, it's impossible. I took Chinese, Biology was a total mess, never had high hopes for Physics, and still, we need to take into account the mood of the markers when they were marking.

So, why the assurance?! I still manage to block all these out of my mind, so that I would not have high hopes and come crashing down when I see for myself that freaking piece of paper on Wednesday.

Anyhow, since young, my parents had never made any promises to me for getting excellent results. I'm used to it and it's the same for SPM. No rewards, no cash, no laptops, no iPhones, no iPads whatsoever. So I do not have any fear of disappointments but now it's a totally different case. I'm afraid that I'm gonna disappoint a lot of people. And later on, disappoint myself.

What will people who had the "assurance" say when meeting me if I failed to get straight A's? Man, it will be awkward. It will go something like this:

A: "Hey, sure get straight A+ right? See? Told 'ya."
Me: "Erm, nope. I got only X As."
A: "Oh...(5 seconds passes, changes the topic) The weather's cloudy today huh?"

Gosh. To be acknowledged is like getting a temporary euphoria. And when you sink back into reality, you know you got lots to do to keep up to the expectations. Especially if you're someone like me, who is super-duper-ultra sensitive to what others think of me.

Double gosh. I'm having my driving test on Tuesday. Right before I get my results on Wednesday. Great. Just great. Slacked for 2 months and now I don't think I can handle 2 days straight of myocardial infarction.

Gee. I need to sleep. Stop the assurances please.