It has been long since I reached home at 1pm on a schooling day. Even better, it was a straight journey from the school to my house. No en-routes. Means I'm the only one who did not stay back la. Lol.
It was a good journey home. I had the seats all to myself, not to mention the air-cond. That's not the main point. It was total silence except for the radio and I had time to think of all the things that happened this week.
Sigh. This week is only a lil' better than last week. The problem is still there. And it ain't getting better. I'm tired of giving away chances and tired of letting go. I've always been a person who is able to give up something to someone else if I think that person needs it more. I've always avoided conflicts from arising between friends and acquaintance. I've always treasured friendship and human relationship, sometimes even more than my own benefits. Not that I do not know how to prioritise my gains and benefits, but it's for the sake of not upsetting anyone.
And for the 1st time, I stand firm on my ground, for my own benefit. And this is what happens. This time I have to, I really have to. If I give it up, not only that I'll lose my benefit, I'll lose other things as well. I'm tired of repeating myself, when I can't do anything about it except giving up. I'm starting to wonder, why am I the one who is always letting go so that others can benefit? Why must it be me?
I'm starting to lose the believe of 善有善报. I would have given up this one if I had more than one. I've got no other choices, unlike the other party. I got the chance fair and square. And with no solid reasons, I'm asked to give it up. And my action of holding firm to my right is actually called unfair by the other party. You call this fair? I am speechless.
All I can say is that I'm sorry that I cannot give it up. Not that I'm thick-headed. And for the 1st time, my heart aches because I know I've lost yet another (or 2) acquaintances. I knew I had to give up either one of it. Please stop pushing me. Please stop pushing me to the extend where I give up in everything. Please.
No comments:
Post a Comment