Think, thank, thunk..

I'm sooo bored. I still have a lot of things to do but I can't start/complete them because of some reason or another.

Being so unproductive makes me feel so empty. Being unproductive makes me sleepy. And yet, I'm still doing nothing. And I'm starting to crap.

I guess the main reason of me idling around is the 1 month torture which ended 2 weeks before. This is perhaps my mind's way of compensating for being driven up the walls for 1 whole month. Exams totally disrupts the normal routine of life. What more with the exam ending with a 2 week holiday.

I think a lot when I'm idle. A LOT. I'm a thinker and a planner. I plan all my schedules, and maybe that's what makes me feel secure. I think of what to do way ahead before an event was to take place, days, weeks and perhaps months. I acknowledge the passing of time. I know that if something was to happen, it will happen. So why not have a proper plan so that that something would not be screwed up? And hence, I hate myself a lot when things don't go according to plan. Unless something else better emerge as a result of a screwed plan. Lol.

However, being such a meticulous planner (and thinker), I just don't understand why don't I have a proper plan of what to do after graduating. Everyone seems to have made up their minds on their future, and yet, I, being the fussy one, have not? Come to think of it, perhaps it's because that I hate big changes. I hate the feeling of leaving school one day, which is only 5 months away! This year has been a quick paced one, it was like yesterday was just Merentas Desa, and now even Sports Day is over! What's next? Graduation?! Gah.

Sometimes I think too much, so I think less. And when I think less, things go wrong. When I think too much, things become worse. And yet, I cannot stop thinking. Think, thank, thunk! Argh!