A New Journey..

Today's the 11th day I've been in Singapore.

It all started with a mess. It was quite a last minute preparation due to some reason. My emo radar was so freaking high for the week before I left for this place. I was having all sorts of uncertainties, worries and reluctance. Most of all, I didn't want to be away from home, away from my family. I know staying away from home is a norm nowadays but...I have my reasons feeling so homesick even before I left. I had been imagining of the moment I bid farewell to my family. I knew for sure I was gonna burst into tears and it would be so embarrassing because we don't usually express our feelings and emotions in my family.

And surprisingly it turned out that there was no bursting of tears because there was a change in plan. I went to stay with my cousin for almost a week before really going into uni. I had my nephews with me that week so I actually had a "home" and "family" with me. And I thank god for relieving me of the stress of going through the moment I feared the most.

Basically, Singapore to me (from a non-tourist point of view) is jaw-dropping. The systems, the way of life and almost everything else are so freaking organised and convenient. This is like sky and ground when I compare with what I'm used to. And with the scholarship I'm holding, I couldn't ask for more in Singapore.

And of course, the independence of living away from home. Settling my meals, my transport and my chores all by myself was overwhelming at first. But I told myself that I need to take my first step towards everything. And yes, the proudest moment so far in my 11 days here is taking the right shuttle bus, right MRT, changing the right MRT lines and walking quite a distance to my cousin's house. Next achievement is me finding my way around the FREAKING HUGE university.

As of today, I've not reached the highest level of homesick yet. Maybe it's because I Skype my parents every night, and that I know I have my relatives here and the fact that I've not started encountering the stress of studying yet. Being in a high standard uni means I'm gonna have to work my heads off to achieve a "high standard" results as well. It this is what have been arranged for me I will make sure this is gonna worth it. It just feels like STPM all over again.

Being the "foreigner" here, I try to blend in well but deep in my heart is the undeniable fact that I'm a Malaysian. I will still work hard and hopefully score excellently so that people will know me as a Malaysian. As what the Malaysian Professor said last week, we are here because the Malaysian seniors left a very good impression to the uni, and so we must do as well, if not better, to make the path easy for our juniors in the future. We're doing this for the next generations, and for our country we still love deep in our hearts.

In a nutshell, day 11, and I'm still alive :)